Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg is Most Hated American

Trump Finishes Second, Vows to Do Better


When it comes to “schadenfreude,” the German word for taking pleasure in the suffering of others, Facebook CEO and Chairman Mark Zuckerberg is No. 1 with a bullet.

Also a knife, a blowtorch, a fondue fork, and a rusty grapefruit spoon.

Hating on the world’s foremost censor is about the only thing most liberal and conservative Americans agree on these days. That and the idea that both corrupt Democrats and corrupt Republicans have betrayed America and sold out the faltering middle class to Wall Street.

“Most people assume President Trump is the most hated person in America, but it’s not even close,” said Jens Krogpot, a senior writer and editor at the Pew Research Center specializing in class warfare and inequality.

“When it comes to pure bile, no one generates more than Mark Zuckerberg,” he added. “To borrow a phrase popularized by The Moron President – ‘he’s huge.’ No one is more widely despised.”

Zuckerberg said he was distressed by the survey results. However, he said Americans have no rights on Facebook and that is not about to change.

“Clearly, many Americans are under the mistaken impression they enjoy the same Constitutional rights on Facebook as they do off-line,” Zuckerberg said via e-mail Thursday evening. “Nothing could be further from the truth. We’re part of the private sector and anyone who doesn’t like the way we run things is free to switch to MySpace, Twitter, LinkedIn or any other competing social media network.”

Facebook shares have fallen 2.69 percent to $164.46 each since the statement’s release. The social media network claims 2.23 billion users – about a third of the human race.

The Pew survey of 5,003 likely voters found that 47 percent of respondents named the founder of the world’s largest social media network as the fellow American they’d most like to stick a knife into. Zuckerberg also finished first with 46 percent of respondents as the fellow American doing the most to subvert democracy in the telephone interviews conducted Sept. 1 to Sept. 15.

“The outcome surprised both the federal law enforcement and political communities,” said former FBI Acting Director Andrew McCabe, who now works as a Wal-Mart security associate in Pekin, Ill. “Most people expected Trump to finish higher. I don’t think any of us realized just how widespread censorship on Facebook really is until now, how poorly done, and how unpopular.”

It’s that kind of animus which makes the world’s sixth richest man travel with a security entourage that rivals the president’s protective detail in size. Zuckerberg has built a $67 billion fortune undermining the free press and monetizing basic rights most Americans consider inviolate.

“When I dream about using violence I dream about sticking a knife into the smug little sonofabitch who is getting rich by selling our freedoms of speech, expression, and association to the highest bidder,” said Tiffany Tomasi, 44, of Tallahassee, Fla. “Of course, I’m not going to actually do it. Violence is not the answer, but I am continually amazed that this Wall Street sonofabitch gets away with as much as he does.”

Tomasi runs one of the 2,223 anti-Trump groups on Facebook with more than 1,000 members. Her account has been suspended 11 times since the real estate tycoon and Nazi sympathizer occupied the Oval Office on Feb. 20, 2017. Her Facebook group was shut down Wednesday – a process Facebook euphemistically refers to as being unpublished.

“I’ve never killed anyone in my life, but if I was going to kill someone it would be that treasonous little shit,” Tomasi said. “No one has done more to harm to America than Mark Zuckerberg and Facebook.”

Abe Rosenthal, 92, of Brooklyn, N.Y., sounded a similar refrain. He runs one of the 135 pro-Trump groups on Facebook with more than 1,000 members. His account has been suspended five times since Trump took office.

“You might think ‘Mark Zuckerberg’s a Jew and I’m a Jew so I must like him,’ but you’d be wrong,” Rosenthal said. “This little putz is neither my idea of a good American nor a righteous Jew. He’s just another Silicon Valley bottom feeder, who is getting rich by lowering wages and destroying jobs.

“The sooner he’s dead the sooner the rest of America can breathe freely again,” the World War II combat veteran added.

Donald Trump finished second in the Pew survey, with 26 percent of respondents naming The Moron President and Russian puppet as the fellow American doing the most to subvert democracy. Twenty-three percent of respondents tabbed the silver spoon mofo as the fellow American they’d most like to take a blowtorch to.

“I must be slipping,” Trump joked with reporters in the White House press room after the survey results were published.  “Maybe it’s time for me to make like Teddy Roosevelt and break up Facebook the way he broke up Standard Oil?”

Former Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton, House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.), U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas), The Koch Brothers, U.S. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wisc.), U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.), U.S. Sen. Charles Schumer (D-NY), and U.S. Sen. Cory Booker (D-NJ) also made the Top 5 on one or more of the six lists.

Zuckerberg and Trump were first and second on all six lists. Former Democratic presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton was third. The survey had a margin for error of 65.7 percent.

“This survey is going to change a lot of political campaigns,” said Democratic campaign strategist Joe Trippi. “We’ve been so focused on running against Trump that none of us realized how unpopular Zuckerberg and Facebook have become. There’s a helluva lot more support for busting this trust up now.”

The Pew survey also looked at another interesting disconnect: The changing American attitude toward political assassination. With the percentage of respondents saying political violence is “never justified” slipping from a clear majority of 92 percent in 2008 to just 51 percent today.

Nevertheless, Trump said he had little fear of assassination or revolution.

“America’s middle class has been coddled for so long that they’re no longer capable of defending their Constitutional rights,” Trump said. “That’s why no one ever does anything besides whine about how unhappy they are. The key difference between me and my predecessors is that I don’t give a shit.”

Here are the top finishers on the six Top 5 lists of America’s Most Hated:

1) Fellow American Doing the Most to Subvert U.S. Democracy…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 46%
-Donald Trump, 26%
-Hillary Clinton, 21%
-Nancy Pelosi, 4%
-Ted Cruz, 3%

2) Fellow American You’d Most Like to Stick A Knife Into…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 47%
-Donald Trump, 23%
-Hillary Clinton, 18%
-Paul Ryan, 7%
-Nancy Pelosi, 5%

3) Fellow American You’d Most Like to Put A Bullet Into…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 41%
-Donald Trump, 23%
-Hillary Clinton, 16%
-Nancy Pelosi, 12%
-The Koch Brothers, 8%

4) Fellow American You’d Most Like to Take Blowtorch To…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 42%
-Donald Trump, 23%
-Hillary Clinton, 21%
-Nancy Pelosi, 8%
-Mitch McConnell, 6%

5) Fellow American You’d Most Like to See Stabbed to Death With a Fondue Fork…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 40%
-Donald Trump, 23%
-Hillary Clinton, 23%
-Nancy Pelosi, 12%
-Cory Booker, 4%

6) Fellow American You’d Most Like to Attack With a Rusty Grapefruit Spoon…

-Mark Zuckerberg, 38%
-Donald Trump, 22%
-Hillary Clinton, 21%
-Nancy Pelosi, 14%
-Chuck Schumer, 5%


Facebook censors anti-Trump satire so aggressively that The Cynical Times has begun publishing anti-Zuckerberg articles simply to find a way to distribute its work. If you want to fight the tyranny of Facebook, please share this clearly marked satirical article.




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