Sophie’s Choice: Tax Cuts or Social Security


President Donald J. Trump offered the masses a Sophie’s Choice between lower taxes and the social safety net Thursday in his latest attack on America’s faltering middle class.

The Moron President said the masses can secure a 10 percent reduction in their income and property taxes by opting out of Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid, Unemployment Insurance, food stamps and welfare during the Nov. 6 mid-term elections. Or they could continue with the “socialist” programs of the so-called “welfare state” and business as usual, he said.

“The fake news media is going to tell you I’m tricking you and the fake Pope is going to say I’m abandoning the needy,” said Trump, a former casino magnate and trust fund baby who has been sued more than 1,000 times. “They’re going to try and frighten you into thinking this is a bad deal. I say you’re adults who can think for yourselves.”

Early polls indicate that 32 percent of likely voters may take advantage of the Sophie’s Choice. The term refers to a choice between evil outcomes.

Critics of Trump’s latest attack on the social safety net are already denigrating it as a “Trumpian Choice.” 

Support is highest among young people, according to The Pew Research Center. With 61 percent of Americans between ages 18 and 35 supporting the Trumpian Choice.

Tiffany Waters, 31, of Idyat, Fla., was typical of those who reflexively support the silver spoon in The Oval Office.

“I don’t need to participate in the social safety net,” said the adult entertainer. “I never get sick and I should be a millionaire by the time I stop dancing in 10 years. What do I need Social Security for?”

Critics of Trump’s proposal, which enjoys bipartisan support in America’s House of Lords, derided it as a blatant attempt at class warfare.

Without Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and similar programs American workers will be little more than corporate sharecroppers, according to rocker and social activist Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine.

“This is another step toward outright oligarchy” Morello said. “Trump either destroys Social Security with this evil proposal or generates enough support that he legitimizes the notion the masses are incapable of voting in their own interest and therefore unworthy of democracy.”

Pope Francis called the Trumpian Choice “demonic.” 

“To those who much is given much is expected,” Pope Francis said. “However, this generation of toxic elites doesn’t believe that. Instead, Trump and those like him see themselves as being innately superior to the rest of the species and therefore our rightful masters.”

The 81-year-old Pontiff, who fired the Bishop of Memphis for being a scumbag yesterday,  is rumored to be mulling a Trump excommunication. Even though America’s first fascist president is not Catholic.

The Brazilian cleric is also considering confronting the 71-year-old Trump physically, according to a papal insider who declined to be named.

“His Holiness thinks Trump may be the Antichrist,” the insider said. “He also thinks he’s a rich pussy. He says he can take him.”

Unlike other pieces of the social safety net, Social Security is not funded by taxes. Instead, it’s funded by donations from new workers, which are used to provide retirement funds to older workers.

The program is dependent on steady population growth. It only works if the revenue from new workers exceeds spending on retirees.

By allowing new workers to opt out of the program, Trump can destroy Social Security’s ability to pay retirement benefits to retirees who have spent the past 40 years supporting the generations ahead of them.

“After more than 30 years of right wing disinformation, about a third of the American electorate actually believes propaganda sources like Fox and Breitbart are news,” said media expert Robert Thompson  of Syracuse University. “When these outlets says ‘good is bad, cowardice is heroic, and obedience is freedom’ these reflexive rule followers believe them.”

Social Security’s unique status has made it a favored target of class warfare advocates like The Koch Brothers and Grover Norquist. They and their fellow toxic elites have tried to shift government funding from scaled taxes like income taxes – which make the rich pay their way – to usage fees like highway tolls and national park entry surcharges – which level them with the poor.

“I don’t hate Social Security per se, but I do despise a saucy commoner,” Norquist said. “The common people should be more respectful of their betters in this country. They’re less independent when their very survival depends on us.”

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi sounded a similar note.

“The masses have too much power in a democracy,” Pelosi said. “It’s far better for the children of the rich and powerful to succeed their parents in our nation’s political aristocracy so that all may benefit from their superior breeding, intelligence and knowledge.”


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