Anti-Obama Meme Costs Progressive Rag


The Cynical Times has lost more than 10 followers since we ran a meme on our Facebook page criticizing former President Barack Obama, who remains a beloved figure among many Progressives. Including those involved in the production of The Cynical Times.

Ten readers may not sound like much, but it’s an unprecedented development in the history of this Progressive nonprofit news organization. It’s no small thing for Cynical, which was founded in 2011 to champion the faltering middle class and give Occupy Wall Street a fair shake in the news media.

What’s it all mean?

That’s a good question. Especially for those of us in the Progressive movement. We tend be more inclined to introspection than those who place their loyalty to the Republican and Democratic parties ahead of being American.
It either means there are just as many educated idiots on the left as the right. Or just as many blockheads who won’t admit when they’re wrong.
Know what it doesn’t mean?
It doesn’t mean our country’s rampant political corruption is solely the result of Wall Street and their Red State overseers. Cause some of those of us on the left clearly can’t grasp the idea that greed is color blind and politically neutral.
Know what those people are called?
Limousine liberals.
Know what we are here at The Cynical Times?
We’re Principled Liberals.
Know what a Principled Liberal hates even more than a Conservative Republican?
A Limousine Liberal.

Look, nobody made Obama take excessive speaking fees and book deals from Wall Street in exchange for protecting multinational corporations from being held accountable for their role in undermining our representative democracy. And we’ve got $100 that says there’s a Saudi prince somewhere who is about to give him $50 million for his presidential library. A donation which should be rejected, but will no doubt be pocketed with a smile.

Cause that’s what the Saudis, who are to democracy what jetliners are to World Trade Centers, are all about. Buying influence.
Obama is pulling this mercenary garbage all by himself. Just like Little Donnie Trump and former President Dick Cheney. Who, by the way, has very pretty blue eyes.
We hate both parties. And if that means losing a few Liberal posers every time we criticize the crooks on the left and losing a few Conservative posers every time we criticize the crooks on the right then so be it. Good riddance.
Look, we’re not about winning and losing politically. That’s for rich people.
It’s a luxury we can no longer afford in the faltering middle class, because we are under fire from the Republican Party and the Democratic Party. Both of which are owned by Wall Street right now.
You don’t have to like this sorry state of affairs, but you do have to face up to it.

Instead, many of you embrace the comforting lie that the bad guys are either Republican or Dem. When the painful truth is both party machines now work for the Predatory 1 Percent.

The staged contests they put on every election are about as meaningful as those waged between The Harlem Globetrotters basketball team and the Washington Generals. In the sense that the outcome is irrelevant to the business they’re in together.

Which is why The Cynical Times is about championing the faltering middle class while there still is a middle class left to champion.

We know that when politicians want to wash bribe money clean they do so by accepting it in the guise of excessive speaking fees, bogus donations to their family charities, insider trading tips and low show jobs for their pampered spawn. Like the jobs at MSNBC that Chelsea Clinton, Meghan McCain and Jenna Hager Bush have all landed as national correspondents. And the insider trading tips that helped House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi amass an $87 million fortune – thanks to the insider trading exemption our hopelessly corrupt Congress has given themselves.

That loophole is not the only one these royal wannabees enjoy.

While the rest of us are being priced out of the healthcare insurance market and seeing our pensions replaced by garbage 401k retirement funds, the fake public servants in Congress have given themselves both for life. These first-class citizens have also exempted themselves from term limits, to make it harder for those of us in coach to vote them out. It’s also why these corrupt sonsabitches have been busily gerrymandering our congressional districts to increase the power of their respective political machines at the expense of the public – that’s you and me.

Officially, America is great again.

Unofficially, our labor, housing, and medical markets are all disasters; our banking sector is out of control and using synthetic investment vehicles to  print new electronic currency like the Weimar Republic; climate change is passing the point of “how much is too much;” a college education and a decent cut of steak are both becoming unaffordable; Wall Street has abandoned the very concept of national identity and is busily pilfering the Treasury; and our politicians are holding a “Going out of Business Sale” every day.

What’s for sale?

Our children’s future.

With those painful truths in mind, this is Cynical’s new and improved working class agenda for America:

-Eff Republicans

-Eff Dems
-Eff The U.S. Chamber of Commerce
-Eff Obama
-Eff the NRA
-Eff all Trumps, all Bushes, all Clintons, and all Kardashians.
-Eff Sturm Ruger and Co.
-Eff Wingnuts
-Eff Hillbots
-Eff Tucker Carlson.
-Eff propagandist Rupert Murdoch.

Eff The New York Times and the filthy rich Sulzberger family which has kept it from biting their limousine liberal pals in the country club set.
-Eff ALEC.
-Eff the Koch Brothers and mammon worshiper Sheldon Adelson.
-Eff GE. 
-Eff Nancy Pelosi.
-Eff Michael Bloomberg and his Wall Street goombahs.
-Eff Apple.
-Eff Limousine Liberals
-Eff Mitch McConnell and his sentient hemorrhoid “Erik.”

-Eff Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream (who sold out to Unilever)
-Eff Paul Ryan
-Eff John Oliver and Time Warner.
-Eff Sumner Redstone and Viacom.

-Eff Carrier Air Conditioner
-Eff The Tea Party
-Eff Hillbots
-Eff Cory Booker
-Eff Rachel Maddow and Comcast.
-Eff the rich man’s sports of polo and squash.
-Eff Ford and GM.
-Eff Chuck Schumer.
Cause none of them are on our side.
Not. Fuggin. One.
Figure it out.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here