Salma Hayek Denies Excessive Sexuality Charges

Denied Exploiting Visual Nature of Male Libido

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Actress Salma Hayek released a new statement Friday, following multiple allegations of excessive sexuality, categorically denying that she ever objectified herself in a bid to profit financially from her spectacular figure.

The former star of Frida and Dusk to Dawn has a history of wearing skimpy outfits that emphasize her ample bosom and shapely legs, and taking roles that entail nude love scenes and foot fetishes.

Sixty-two film industry professionals and 156 other men and women have accused the Academy Award nominee of excessive sexuality since April 1, according to the Us Too Movement for victim equivalence.

“I admit taking roles depicting what I consider to be a normal level of female sexual emancipation and I admit to having a spectacular body,” Hayek told The New York Times. “In the course of my work as an actress I am sometimes required to wear revealing costumes and to engage in simulated sex acts. Guilty as charged.

“However, at no time have I ever created unsafe or unprofessional work environments,” she said. “I did not attempt to exploit the visual nature of the male libido. And I never solicited the attention of heterosexual men and lesbians in exchange for employment or advancement. Any suggestions otherwise are completely false.”

Hayek, 51, is the latest star to fall victim to allegations of excessive sexuality since the Us Too Movement began retroactively criminalizing long accepted norms of American sexual conduct last month. Critics have denigrated it as modern Puritanism and an opportunistic attempt to expand on the “I’m the real victim here” ethos of the Me Too Movement.

Me Too has presented Hollywood’s infamous casting couch as a one-way tool of male sexual conquest in every scenario. Instead of a transactional tool for ruthless fame whores who willingly exchange sex with lecherous studio executives for roles advancing their pursuit of money and fame.

Us Too has engaged in a similar form of guilt by assumption, by uniformly blaming abnormally sexy people for the attention they receive for their physical appearance. Law professors have criticized that mindset by pointing to the 64 percent U.S. homicide clearance rate.

“In a nation where more than half of the people arrested for homicide are ultimately set free, there’s a fair chance that some people are being wrongly accused of sexual misconduct by Me Too and Us Too, said Legal Expert Jim Dough, of the Mock Law Firm in Statesboro, Va.

Both movements are guilty of elevating wealthy victims to a rarefied level which frees them of all personal accountability, according to demographic sociologist Douglas Bachtel of the University of Georgia. This dynamic creates a social incentive for people to “cry wolf,” which dilutes the response to real victims, he said.

“Instead of having high expectations of victims of past abuse, based on their personal experiences, our society has no expectations of them,” Bachtel said. “That’s akin to ringing the dinner bell for every sociopath seeking to lift themselves above suspicion.”

The ranks of Hayek’s alleged victims include professional wannabee Monica Lewinsky, The Octomom, Jamie Foxx, presidential adviser KellyAnne Conway, presidential spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders, former U.S. Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and Former Reality TV Stars Heidi Montag and Tila Tequila. They’ve all charged her with making them “feel ugly” and spurring them to engage in regrettable decisions by way of compensation.  

According to court documents, Montag and Tequila blame the Latin bombshell for pushing them to get unnecessary cosmetic surgery. Conway says Hayek is the reason she looks like Patrick Stewart in drag.

Hayek’s defense is built around her own efforts to mitigate the impact of her beauty on other women. 

“I got a unibrow for Frida, I’ve had a child and breastfed her, and even allowed my hair to turn prenaturally gray,” Hayek said. “Honestly, I don’t know what else I can do to mitigate my beauty. I’m half Lebanese and half Mexican for Chrissakes.”

The charges against Hayek have triggered a flood of similar allegations against many of Hollywood’s biggest stars in the past two months. Hayek, who was nominated for the 2002 Academy Award for best actress in Frida, joins a list of more than 150 ambitious Hollywood figures, journalists and other high-profile women who have been accused of excessive sexuality. Several are also members of the Me Too Movement, which has turned a blind eye to working class victims of executive abuse.

Excessive sexuality complaints also have been filed against Lupita Amondi Nyong’o, Hugh Jackman, Christina Hendricks, Idris Elba, Scarlett Johansson, Peter Griffin, U.S. Sen Bernie Sanders (D-NH), Amber Rose, Kim Kardashian, and SpongeBob SquarePants.

Posthumous charges were filed yesterday against the estates of singers Prince and Jimi Hendrix, and actress Yvonne Craig. The latter played Batgirl and Marta, the green-skinned Orion slave girl, on the original Star Trek in the 1960s.

Rock-n-Roll icon Lenny Kravitz filed suit against the Hendrix Estate, accusing the biracial singer of psychologically channeling him from beyond the grave and pressuring him to be incredibly hot. So much so that his own personality has been subsumed.

“I don’t just look like Jimi, sing like Jimi, fuck like Jimi, and play guitar like Jimi,” Kravitz said. “I am Jimi.”

U.S. President Donald Trump and U.S. Sen. Cory Booker are suing Sanders for making them feel fat, question their sexuality, and engage in political corruption.

“I’m the victim here,” said Trump.

“Me too,” said Booker. “Bernie is making us all look bad.

Kardashian apparently filed suit against herself in a shameless bid for publicity, claiming her enormous cottage cheese ass makes dairy cows go “moo.”

Scott Thompson, a comedian who performs on stage under the “Carrot Top” name, blamed Elba’s “dreamy physical appearance” for his own abuse of anabolic steroids, excessive body waxing and failure to wear underwear.

Elba denounced the charges as “ridiculous” and “typical American nonsense.”

However, Hayek said she believes all victims of sexual misconduct deserve equal time. Regardless of whether they belong to the Me Too or Us Too movements, are bonafide victims, or ruthless opportunists seeking fame and fortune by any means necessary.

The Mexican-born actress began her career in Latin soap operas. Her breakthrough role in the U.S. occurred in the 1995 film Desperado, which featured her in a nude sex scene with Antonio Banderas. The 57-year-old Spaniard accused Hayek of using her sexuality to create emotional distance between he and wife Melanie Griffin.

“Salma was so inappropriately and excessively sexy during the Desperado love scene that I became aroused – completely against my will – and could not leave the set for nearly 20 minutes without embarrassing myself,” Banderas recalled, breaking into tears. “It was humiliating for both me and for Melanie, who was watching the shoot.”

Banderas filed suit in the U.S. District Court for Southern California on April 14, seeking $2.5 million in damages for emotional distress and loss of spousal affection.

Melanie Griffin – no relation to Peter Griffin – has also filed suit against Hayek for allegedly causing her to question her own sexual orientation. She’s seeking damages of $3 million for emotional distress.

Money is not an issue for Hayek, who married French billionaire Francoise-Henry Pinault in 2009. The heir to the Pinault family fortune has an estimated net worth of $20 billion.

“There’s no doubt that Mr. Pinault’s ability to pay damages has been a catalyst for some of these legal filings,” said attorney Gloria Allred, who was representing Hayek until last week.

Hayek has been notably absent from press appearances with Allred since the celebrity lawyer embraced her “all-time favorite client” during an awkward presser on May 14.

Allred filed suit against Hayek for allegedly causing her to question her own sexual orientation on May 23, seeking damages of $36 million for emotional distress.

Hayek followed up Desperado with a role as a vampire stripper in the 1996 film Dusk to Dawn. It featured both nudity and a scene where she inserted her foot in the gaping mouth of noted filmmaker Quentin Tarantino.

Tarantino field suit against Hayek on May 21, charging her with haunting his dreams with her tiny little “Vienna Sausage-like” toes.

“I couldn’t sleep for nearly a week after the shoot,” Tarantino said in the filing, which seeks compensatory damages of $50,000 for related expenditures on unspecified adult entertainment. He is seeking another $40,000 for medical costs associated with the treatment of tinea pedis.

The filmmaker claims Hayek infected him with a nearly fatal case of foot and mouth disease during the scene.

“I believe toxic toe-jam is the layman’s term,” Tarantino said.

Hayek denies the claim and is counter-suing Tarantino for defamation.

“Quentin has so many toes in and out of his mouth every day that there’s no way he can know who gave him what,” Hayek said. “My feet are so clean.”

Salma played a stripper again in the 1999 film Dogma, with Matt Damon and Ben Affleck. It’s one of three roles for which she’s been nominated for a venerable Raspberry Award during her storied career.

In an investigation published Thursday, CNN reported details of Hayek’s alleged pattern of improper sexuality on movie sets, at media junkets and charity work with hungry orphans in Africa. 

For the story, CNN spoke with 16 orphans and workers at the McFadden Orphanage in Ghana who say they were either suckled by Hayek or not suckled at all in 2009.

“I was breastfed against my will and it was the greatest moment in my life,” said 10-year-old Kofi Amakwe, who is seeking $2.5 million for neglect to fill the void left by the absence of Hayek’s breasts.

“I wasn’t suckled, but I would have liked to have been,” said 25-year-old Kofi Safitou, a caretaker at the orphanage who is seeking $400,000 for neglect.

More: Hayek accused of intentionally wearing undersized bras 

Related: How common is excessive sexuality in Hollywood?

News You Can Use: How to deal with excessively sexy colleagues at work

As If: Veteran was driving home when Hayek crossed the street, now he’s paralyzed

Whatevs: Why most billionaires trade their spouses in on newer models before they turn 50 

Yeah Right: Spike Lee says Rosie Perez sexier than Salma, blames racism for lack of excessive sexuality lawsuits

Daddy Got Us This Job: Ten reasons why the excessively sexy are a plague on humanity and 151 reasons why no one cares

Spike TV, which bestowed Hayek with its Decade of Hotness Award in 2015 (and the ugliest trophy  in show business), said Thursday that it was considering revoking the honor. Then it remembered nobody gives a shit what it does.

“These are compelling and devastating allegations which are absolutely contrary to a safe work environment for the men and women of America,” said a statement from Spike TV Guy’s Choice Awards. “Any accused person has the right to due process, but it is our starting point to believe the courageous voices who come forward to report incidents of excessive sexuality.”

Avon cosmetics pulled commercials featuring Hayek after actor Matthew Perry filed the first allegation of wrongdoing against her on April 1.

“I haven’t been right since we were together in the air conditioned waiting room at Good Morning America in 1997,” Perry said. “I can’t stop thinking about Salma. I still have nightmares about her boobs puncturing my torso 20 years later.”

Hayek insists that she is the real victim of the 218 lawsuits filed against her.

“People don’t realize what a curse it is to be this hot,” Hayek lamented. “I can’t hail a cab without being propositioned. Can’t attend a family wedding without being hit on by everyone from my father-in-law to the caterer. I was visiting St. Jude’s Children Research Hospital yesterday and an 8-year-old boy grabbed my ass.”  

The Cynical Times is a progressive news and satire website. We oppose political corruption, class warfare, the tyranny of the rich, hereditary wealth and power, and the rise of a global economy with no labor protections. We champion the faltering middle class and the liberal principles of democracy and equality that serve as the foundation of the United States of America. The Me Too Movement’s focus on rich and famous “victims,” to the detriment of the poor and middle class, is somewhat contrary to those values. We intend to lampoon their elitist asses until they include the masses.

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