High Society Hottie Cops A Walk

0
221

Still think there’s one justice system for all of us in the United States?

Think again.

Socialite Beata Boman was given a slap on the wrist by Connecticut Judge Robert Genuari this month and allowed to walk free after allegedly stealing $11,750 worth of scarves in the latest example of a wealthy elite being shamelessly favored in our increasingly plantation-like nation. The alleged thefts occurred in two separate incidents in June at an upscale shop called Richard’s of Greenwich.

That’s not shoplifting y’all, that’s grand larceny.

This Polish-born diva isn’t accused of stealing once. She liked the store so much she went back and did it again, and the judge still let her walk.

Why?

Because Greewich is the greed  capital of the United States as home to many of the hedge fund and private equity fund executives who make life suck for the rest of us.

What do you think would happen to a decent, hardworking, middle class woman who tried to pull the same crap?

That’s right, they would be facing a Class-B felony charge for grand larceny right now that carries up to 20 years in prison and a $15,000 fine for stealing something worth more than $10,000. But not Beata. She was charged with lesser crimes.

Why?

Because the 38-year-old’s vaginal walls are made of pure gold.

No.

Beata is a former model and a former romantic interest of Britain’s Prince Andrew. That means she’s better than you and me, and entitled to a “get out of jail free” card, even after being arrested for being a damn thief.

Apparently, being a wealthy thief in America is no longer a felony offense in stuck up Greenwich.

Beata didn’t have enough money to do what decent people do and just pay for the stuff she wanted, but she had enough cheddar to hire the very best to make excuses for her. Lawyer Mark Sherman was worth every cent.

Beata was freed so fast after her June arrest that shstoree was able to make it back to Manhattan in time to play dressup at an exclusive – aka no Bridge and Tunnel Crowd allowed – fundraiser at the Museum of Modern Art (below left). She looks terribly distressed.

In fact, Sherman convinced the judge to go easy on Beata because she was upset over a friend’s illness and about to be single herself due to an impending divorce. Uhuh.

“We’re relieved that the court saw this as an isolated incident,” Sherman said.

Whoa cowboy. What isolated incident?

Beata allegedly stole these goods from the same store twice. The only thing isolated about it was the store.

Perry Chiaramonte of The New York Post reports that a security guard from the shop had to chase Beata a full block to collar her. The fur-lined scarf was in her bag – $11,050 pricetag attached.

Apparently, the fur still had enough life in it to jump into Beata’s bag against her will while she was talking on her cellphone to a sick friend. See, she’s really the victim here.

It’s not like this kind of thing happens all the time with members of the Lucky Sperm Club. It’s not like Caroline Guiliani – daughter of former New York mayor and renown crime-fighter Rudi Guiliani – was given one day of community service after being caught on camera taking $100 worth of beauty products from a Manhattan store in 2010.

Nah. That never happened. And let’s not even get started on the Lindsay Lohan drama. It’s all just so unfair to her.car

Look man, we pay for our stuff here at The Cynical Times and we go without when we can’t afford something. That’s the way decent people conduct themselves.

That’s also why we’re disappointed that the working class security guard didn’t beat the crap out of Beata during the course of her arrest. If anyone objected he could just have told them his hemorrhoids were killing him and he he was upset because one of his unemployed friends had blown their brains out.

Here’s an even better excuse – the guard could have justified the beating by saying he didn’t know she was a rich lady. He thought she was some kind of working schmuck who snuck in the store when no one was looking.

The rich judge hasn’t been born yet who could turn a blind eye to that kind of rationale for brutality.

Unfortunately, the only time we make examples out of wealthy people who can afford a good lawyer in this country is when some fancy judge lets them off with pat on their pretty rump. The lesson in this case is that the rules don’t apply to Beata because she’s rich and pretty.

Beata gets to walk away from second-degree and third-degree larceny charges scot-free, provided she has the willpower to behave for the next 18 months. She also has to put in 100 hours of community service.

Don’t look for her picking up trash on the side of the road in an orange jumpsuit. Beata is more likely to serve her time playing dressup at fancy charity balls, like the upcoming one for the Connecticut Bar Association.

Thanks Judge Genuari. You’re a prince. Who knows, Beata is single now and she likes princes. Maybe you have a chance.

How much money you got in the bank?

Not that it matters.