In a stunning pique of affluenza, U.S. President Donald Trump rewrote America’s racial caste system Wednesday with an executive order making his wealthiest African American supporters legally white.
America's new Racial Transplant Law also applies to what he termed “wealthy mud people.” Regardless of race, gender, IQ or national origin.
To qualify for a racial transplant, applicants must be U.S. citizens, Trump supporters, possess a fortune exceeding $10 million, and demonstrate a documented contempt for America’s poor and middle class. The new regulation could impact as many as 6,000 affluent African Americans, according to a Congressional Budget Office analysis.
“This is huge, believe me,” Trump said via tweet, “I’ve never been a racist, although such baseless allegations have long been leveled my way.
“I just don’t like the poor and middle class,” he added. “Especially when they get saucy and start talking about that one person one vote crap. What a crock.
“God would not have created political lobbyists if he had not wanted the rich to make a complete mockery of American democracy ,” Trump said. “I want to live in an America where every rich person is encouraged to flaunt their wealth and innate superiority, and treat the masses like the bottom of their shoe. Regardless of race.”
The decree is expected to initially impact a short list of 40 Trump loyalists, who were granted instant legal whiteness by the presidential order. They include U.S. Housing Secretary Ben Carson and U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas.
“Praise Jesus,” Carson declared upon learning he was now white. “I’ve never considered myself ‘black’ per se. Instead, I’ve always thought of myself as a rich white frat boy with a big brain and a great tan. Now I am.”
Thomas was also elated, albeit confused.
“I’m not white?” He asked wife Virginia Thomas, a political lobbyist who has made a career out of trading on his status on the nation's highest court.
“You always were to me honey,” she assured him. Continue